Eww, Gross!

Anyone who knows me, knows I have serious and strange idiosyncrasies about the bathroom... even if you read CocktailOur (if you knew who was writing what), you know how crazy I am about them.

Dirty bathrooms are my pet peeve. If I go to a man's place and have to use the bathroom you better believe while I'm in there I'm checkin' the ring around the toilet and the ring around the tub!

It REALLY pisses me off when I go into a grown man's house (roommate or not) and his tub is varying shades of gray and brown! What the hell!? Do you not see the change in color? Was your tub not white when you moved in? Oh and please don't get me started on the toilet. . . okay I'm started! If I can tell how bad your aim is as soon as I walk in your bathroom, it's definitely a deal breaker. Whatever happened to flushing for good measure? You knew I was coming over, why didn't you get rid of those traces of last night's dinner floating around in there?? Too much?? Okay, I apologize. I just needed to get the point across. I digress.

Anyway, all you not-so-gentle-men, please don't wonder why I left and didn't call you the next day. Just check your outhouse for the answer.

They Say He Badd, Real Badd...Michael Jackson

I really still can't believe it! Last night it felt like the WORLD stood still, all with bated breath waiting for the news on whether or not Michael would pull through. No matter where you were or what you were doing, all of sudden Michael's health after going into cardiac arrest took precedence.

Sadly, the ending result was that he has left this world. Even though he was a human like any of the rest of us, (despite not being treated like one for most of his life), it's hard to imagine someone who has made such a giant contribution to popular culture no longer being here! Hopefully we all will remember and respect his legacy. I plan to pass his music down to my children, and make sure they know who is, hopefully the world won't forget him.




My favorite Michael Jackson videos/songs:
"Rock With You" - Everything on him sparkled!!
"Remember the Time" - Iman was FIIIEEERRRCCCEEE in that video! And Michael made everything come to life!
"PYT" will always have a place in my heart.

What are yours?

GOOD GUY vs. BAD GUY

The scenario: Here are two different guys that are talking to the same girl & these are their unedited thoughts.

Good Guys finish last...
Damn, this isn't the first time this actually happened to me. I mean I sweet-talked her, I bought her candy & flowers & yet she still acts like I don't exist. I showed her love & affection I comfort her soul, her problems became mine, on my shoulder she cried & the sex was passionate. I combed my fingers through her hair, whispered that I loved her while I nibbled her ear. I gave her my all. I was there for her through thick & thin, supported her habits & I bought her all the material things she desired. But it was hard for us to spend some quality time because she was either with a "friend" or had some shit on her mind. It took hours just for her to return my calls and then she said "I simply think I need a break from this all." So I thought was it something I said or better yet, was there something that I've could've done better? But "NO", she replied. She said that she needs her space but her friend already told me she's been out on dates. Ahhh, fuck it! Once again my heart crushed like glass. Why does this always happen to me? I guess its true what they say nice guys always finish last.

Say "hello" to the Bad Guy...
Its so true what they say nice guys always finish last, that's why I treat girls the way I treat em' and act the way I act. She be blowing up my phone just to see where I'm at, but I tell her that I'm busy and I'll call her right back. I don't sweet talk I simply tell her what it is, I hardly ever take her out and never bought her a gift. And the sex be rough ~ hair pulling and dirty talking, we don't cuddle I be smacking her ass to keep her going and she loves my style she be digging the kidd, told her girls about the way I be hitting her shit. Now her friend looking at me like they want to get with it, so I told her on the low baby girl you can get it. And my girl heard rumors bout me getting it in, and she cries "baby I don't want to lose you" to me all the time. At the end this is simply how its meant to be, and I know because this isn't the first time that its happened to me. Say hello to the bad guy.

- WRITTEN BY A MAN


. . .And these are her thoughts

Good Guys Finish Last. . .
because they want to. You rely on their label "good guy" as a pass... to be passive. Being a good dude doesn't mean you don't have to make any moves. It doesn't mean that you don't have to be willing to chase me just for a bit. I like the excitement. And it doesn't mean that I'm going to be automatically attracted to you because you treat me well. There's more to it than that. It's all well and good if you stroke my hair and whisper in my ear, but what if you don't stimulate my mind? (Or anywhere else) I'm sorry but you just don't excite me. And I'm grateful and thankful that you bought me those things. . . but that's really all they were: things. I never accepted them with an agreement that they were promises of my undying affection, or even my devotion. They were nice... just like you. You are nice. And I won't take that from you, but I need more. So with that said, yes, I know you found out I've been going on dates. I'm exploring my other options.
I'm sorry if I've hurt your feelings. Better luck next time!


Hello Mr. Bad Guy. . .
I can't help but be drawn to you. Even though dealing with you the last time resulted in heartbreak, I'm doing it again because I know you can change. I'm calling your phone, but you won't pick up! I'll just try again later... in 5 minutes. Where are you? You said you'd be home. I bet you're with that chick my girl saw you with in the mall. I do so much for you, drop anything I'm doing, buy you what you want, sex on call. I even let you pull my hair and you know I hate that shit! I'm hearing all kinds of dirt around town about you. Bitches giving me strange looks, but I'm just paranoid right? I don't want to lose you, but I don't know what else I can do. I guess this will be over soon. . . we've already reached the end.
This may be just what I get for stepping all over a good dude.

-E. HOPE FORLORN (A Woman)

He Can Breath Underwater...That's Impressive

If you're a regular reader, you know that we make every attempt to "put on" for our people. We live in a country where a borderline gay dance move paired with an utterly stupid hook is all you need to make a hit. And, in case you didn't know, more than one of us are slackers with tons of ideas and little to no follow-through. Because of this, we can appreciate when someone makes an honest effort to achieve a goal...

So there are these guys who run a blog. They've exposed me to Manchester Orchestra, all kinds of ridiculous sneakers and drunk monkeys. Honestly...they're so wavy [I know....that word is so ridiculous but I love to use it]. I really dig their blog and one of them, Warner, just released an album. From what we can tell he's worked extremely hard on this project and is very proud of his accomplishment, as he should be. Check out his music... Check out their shiny new blog layout...Twitter him... and tell him what you think!

For the Love of All Things Automated

You all may not know this, but I love automated things. If it were up to me I wouldn't have to bathe myself. I'd prefer to have a robot that would do it for me. Because of this, I've racked up a small collection of robots. From Roombas to dishwashers to shower cleaners...the less work I have to do, the better! My love for the minimization of work has once again caused me to fall into a love affair. Move over Oral-B Cross Action...I've found the Braun/Oral-B Vitality Sonic toothbrush! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?!! Seriously people...this toothbrush is amazing. My teeth feel all smooth and squeaky. I can't believe I've gone so long with a regular old electric toothbrush. Thank you CVS...You've done me proud.

Welcome to the Party Life

Pictures from: Oregon Ridge Wine Tasting
June 13, 2009

An all day event!!

A friend of mine invited me to this inexpensive wine tasting ($22 + tax) during one of our quarterly conversations. We go months without seeing or speaking to one another, guess that's what real friendship is all about. Wine is like a celebrity to me. I just have to be in its presence. Don't get me wrong, I'm no novice to the art of fine wine. But this one surpassed my expectations. Free wine glasses, an abundance of vineyards and wineries right here in Maryland. Food, live music, bottle specials, free massages, good weather and good friends. What more can you ask for? Sex? (You McNasty)! They had that too. Pole sales & sex toys made the cypher complete.

Check your city's paper to find out what's going on in your hometown.

Don't know where to look?

Here's a little something to get you started.

http://www.citypaper.com/

Jazzy Summer Nights Concert Series

FREE!!

Thursdays from 5-10

At Hopkins Plaza

That's all I have. The rest is up to you!!

Is This Really Still Happening in 2009?

On several occasions we've visited a store that will remain nameless at this time. On each visit we've been somewhat discriminated against by one of their representatives. Initially, she seemed as though she didn't want to help us. Then, of course, when we started touching the cosmetics she rushed to help. Usually I visit the store when I'm with one of the other CocktailOur ladies, but this time I went alone. Naturally, the representative follows me around with no intention of assisting me. After deciding on my purchase I go to check out and who do you think rings me up? You guessed it! Not only is the chic rude, but she has the nerve to ask "do you need a bag?" WTF do you think? Yes I need a bag skank. She proceeds to ring me up, give me my receipt and slide me my bag. Of course she didn't say thanks for shopping...have a nice day, nor did she offer me my samples that I'm supposed to receive since I am a frequent shopper. All I got was the straight up stank face.

You know what really ticked me off about this chick?...

She appearently didn't want to help either of us, but she seemed more inclined to help my lighter-skinned friend than me. Imagine me looking for a nice tinted moisturizer with my lighter skinned friend. Imagine her not wanting to help us, but doing so for whatever reason. Imagine me attempting to pick up the moisturizer and her telling me that the brand doesn't make any "that dark"...Now imagine her turning to my lighter-skinned friend and saying "I'm wearing this item right now, I really like it"...

Yes yes yall! The bitch is black. Not only is she black, but she's not far from my complexion.

In this day and age are we still suffering from colorism? It's bad enough that we have to deal with it from outside sources, but really! From you too? You're not even mulatto. You're regular, everyday black. Get your life together ma'am. Is this a problem that you guys run into? Why do we treat one another so bad?

3 Great Reasons Men Don’t Holla At You...

-Written By A MAN ...

Honestly, I’m tired of hearing chicks say, “Men ain’t ish.” While this may be true some of the time, have you ever stopped to think that maybe it’s something that you’re doing that is making men not want to stop and talk to you? You could just be unapproachable and that is why you can’t find a decent man. Maybe it’s something beyond your control, but then again maybe it’s not. Try to check the following:

Your Expressions
Body language can tell a lot about a person like whether they’re mad or happy, or if they’re too busy to be bothered. You cannot go out somewhere and expect to meet men if you’re going to sit in the same spot all night with your arms folded across your chest. Men feed off your energy so if you want to meet someone you will have to be aware of your body language at all times. You don’t want the same ugly no good men walking up to you asking, “Why you looking so mean?” You know they’re bold and don’t care. Keep a pleasant look on your face and uncross your arms. This is an invite to let men into your space.

Your Appearance
So you’re really walking out the house with curlers in your hair and your toes hanging over your flip flops? This is a no-no if you’re trying to catch a positive eye. Mr. Right could be out there but he’s going to look right over you and put you in the “hell no” category. If you have on sandals, make sure they are the right size and your toes are done. And if you have to keep your hair tied up, try to at least do it stylishly with a silky scarf…think Alicia Keys “Unbreakable” video. A good man wants his lady to look nice when she steps out.

Who you’re with
“You’re only as good as the company you keep.” So why are you choosing the loudest friends you have to go party with? You know the ones that dance on top of the bar and grab guys to get their attention and to buy them drinks. Sure, you all have a good time when you’re out. But save them for ladies nights when you aren’t thinking about men. If he see’s you with them, more than likely, he will think you act just like them and will ignore any eye contact you give him.

C-Rings & Garter Belts

Posts like this make me glad you guys don't know which of us are doing the writing.

Recently I told a male friend that I was thinking about becoming involved in a sexual relationship with a man that I've been seeing. Since I've been off the market for an extended period of time, I'm not totally sure of what is acceptable sexual behavior for the first encounter. His advice to me appeared to be simple at first glance...

-No head on the first date...Ok, I'm cool with that.

...then everything seemed to go down hill from there. I am a sexual being by nature. Being in a relationship for so long made some not so normal things a normal part of my sexual routine. I am willing to accept that those things must change as I am no longer in that familiar, comfortable, seemingly committed relationship anymore. I totally get it. What I don't get is:

-Why I should expect to encounter "issues" regarding my piercings.

-Why, although I wear garter belts & stockings regularly, I should possibly consider not wearing them the day of our first sexual encounter because of what he might think of me.

This is nonsense! So you want me to remove my piercings and wear holy Hanes Her Way panties (aka grimeys), just so you can feel comfortable? What is it about black men that makes them so trivial about the smallest things? I get it. There's a 10:1 ratio of black women to men. Regardless of how busted and broke down you are, you CAN afford be picky since you have so many options. I'm with that...but why so petty? So what my "pleasure box" is pierced?...so what my nipples are pierced?...so what I wear garters (they keep my stockings up!) Why does it scare you so much? Why does it change your perception of me in any way? More importantly, how can you claim to want a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed, then get freaked out when you get a real freak! Make up your minds! Really!

Rant over...

Men, are how would you react to surprise piercings? Should a woman warn you before you discover it or would you enjoy the surprise? Is it enough to freak you out? How about garter belts and uber-sexy panties? Is there a such thing as being too sexy the first time?

Boyfriend # 2

Although I was never a fan of Pretty Ricky (or any of their member offspring) even before these saggy red panty antics I can't seem to escape Pleasure P's song Boyfriend #2!! Now contrary to what he wants to lead you to believe, being someone's sloppy second boyfriend/girlfriend is NOT [ I repeat ::: NOT ::: ] a good thing!! And most likely they're not going to even tell you that you're not number one.

Sooo now that I've got you wondering if you're holding a secondary status in someone's life here are some tips if you're just not quite sure...

If you only see her on the late night when she wants some strokes . . . then she gets right up and leaves, or makes you get out as soon as you bounce back. (this applies to both men and women) ·


If the only thing she says every time you call her is "I'll call you back later" in a hushed voice. She only calls you "baby" in text messages. Most likely she's hiding from her real man!

He won't take you to his routine eating spots. He'll leave you in YOUR OWN house to run and get some food and bring it back to you but he wont leave you alone in HIS house. He's probably not trying to run into certain people who know Girlfriend #1.

If he ushers you into his room as soon as you get to the apartment because he doesn't want his roommate's girl to see you: you're not the main woman he's been bringing to the house.

You counted the condoms and they're just not adding up because you know you only used 2 when you opened that last pack...

He's "just not in the mood" when you're basically throwing the goods at him! For real when is a guy not in the mood?

There's two toothbrushes, Mizani Shampoo and two towels in his bathroom... none of which are yours. "Nah girl, those belong to my sister, she was here last week" . . . and she set up shop?? yeah right.

If more than one of these applies to you then you are most likely boyfriend/girlfriend #2... or your significant other is just ashamed of you! Either way, not really a good look! LMAO yikes!What do you think of this whole Boyfriend/Girlfriend #2 business?

Feel free to add your own clues in the comments section!