Wednesday, October 9, 2013



Blogger broke our page!!! Please visit us on Wordpress instead. No, this isn't spam you dummy...

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

If You Knew Better


The story of Adam and Eve is perhaps the MOST overlooked and undervalued story in the history of all time.  You may think that it tells the story of disobedience and the beginning of the downfall of man but you're only partially correct.  More importantly, the story of Adam and Eve tells us that enlightenment is a heavy heavy cross to bear.  There's a saying that goes "If you knew better, you'd do better." I, personally, think that the saying should be "If you knew better you'd do better, but you're going to be one mad bitch."  You know why? Because when you know better, you're unwilling to go along with the stupidity that everyone else who doesn't know better succumb to.  When you know better you stand your ground. When you know better you value your worth. When you know better, you do better, but you feel perpetually alone because it seems as if only 10 people in the entire world know better. You start to feel like you're crazy and can't figure out whats wrong with the rest of them. When you know better you long for the days when you were stupid because the stupid people bask in their stupidity. They're comfortable with being stupid. They're happy being stupid. They're ecstatic little puppies playing with flies and licking their own butts while someone who is smarter looks at them and thinks "puppies are so stupid." But the puppy doesn't care. All he knows is that his butt itches, licking it is the only way to get it clean and something is seriously wrong with you if you don't agree...oh...and that one day he's going to catch that damn fly.So what's more important? Knowing better and searching for like-minded people who are enlightened as well? Or, being stupid and happy and not even knowing that today is Tuesday?I'm starting to favor the latter.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

All My Life I Had To Fight

The most difficult lesson I've learned about black people is that we've grown accustomed to fighting for everything. So much, that we actually prefer it. No one likes things that are given freely anymore. Especially love. We want to clamor, scratch and claw for it. We want it to hurt and we want it to cost. We want to feel worthy of it and we want to earn it. We're too ignorant to realize that it should be given freely. We like you when you don't like us and lose interest when you do. We'd much rather make someone love us than let someone love us.  We want it drama-filled and long-suffering.

We're so damaged that when someone points out our rips, we blame them; as if they ripped us. We're breaking rapidly and they're not making glue fast enough to repair all of the cracks.

Come on Home Depot...I know you can do something about this. 

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Everybody Meet Mr. Me Too


Boy meets girl.
Boy tells girl he's not looking for a relationship.
Girl says "me neither" knowing that she is, but hoping she can stick it out until he's ready.
A year passes and boy and girl are still not an item. 
After constant pressuring from girl, boy "leaves."
Girl blames boy...says he wasted her time. 
Truth is...girl wasted her own time. Boy told you he didn't want anything from you in the beginning but you thought you could wait him out. 

Boy didn't hurt you. You hurt you. 

...when people tell you what they want you should believe them. Way too often we pretend to be on the same page with lovers because we're afraid they might leave if we're not. The truth of the matter is, they're probably going to leave anyway. If you know what you want, try finding it in people who want the same thing as you. Don't try to sit in the background and wait it out, because you're likely to end up hurt. There are billions of people on planet earth. I'm sure a few of them are looking for the same thing as you. Stop settling for bullshit then blaming the people who are giving you exactly what they promised you...nothing.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Harvest Season

Sometimes we forget how important gardens are.  They nourish us.  They sustain us.  Without them our species could perish.  The most important thing I've learned lately is that you must be weary of who you let plant in your garden.  Sometimes the people we let plant there have no business with their hands in our dirt.  Some are unknowledgable, some have malicious intentions and some are just trying to get into your garden to see what you have planted there.  Not all of your farmer buddies want to see your garden flourish. Some of them just want to be the only one with an abundant garden.  They want you to look at them and say "Damn, I wish I had a garden like him." They'll tell you what to plant, when to water it and how often to harvest if you let them.  Then one day you'll look up and your garden will be a festering mess. You've let everyone and their hoe into your garden and now you're left with barren land and a growling stomach.  And guess what?  You've spent so much time letting them experiment in yours that they've figured out what works and what doesn't for theirs.  Now they have an abundant crop that they'd never let you lay a hand on...because, after all, look at how you've ruined your own.

So, be careful of who you let plant in your garden.  The only people who truly belong there are the ones it's feeding anyway.

Yes...I did partake of natural green earth today.  What's your point?

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Pay Yo Fare

When my mom was growing up men took care of the household. Actually that’s exactly how my mom describes my grandfather, “he paid the bills and made sure your grandmother had everything she wanted”. My mom is one of six children and my grandfather was a janitor. So paying the bills wasn’t easy. He also made it home every night, cooked and helped with the children. My grandmother worked purely for leisure. My grandfather was a man. I dated a man who worked six jobs, never made it home and expected me to take him on dates. My ex was a boy, dressed in men’s clothing. Something happened between my grandmother’s generation and mine, ours.

Men have become comfortable asking expecting women to take care of them. They want us to cook, clean and bring money home for their use. Somehow they expect us to finance their manhood. And some of us do just that. Countless women rush home to make a meal for a man they are just dating. Offer up some cash if he says he’s a little short. Hell, most of us don’t even cringe if he expects us to pay for the bill. I cringe. Each time it happens, I cringe. The way I see it, it is never a woman’s duty to finance a man’s agenda. If he wants to go to some expensive restaurant, let his ass pay (for both of you). If he wants a home cooked meal every night, he better go grocery shopping. After all, groceries don’t pay for themselves. I did not agree to this courtship so I could practice being: your mom, your banker or your landlord. Don’t expect me to take care of you. Don’t get me wrong it’s perfectly okay to support your man, emotionally. Too many of us are confused about the concept of dating. We somehow forgot we are the prize.

My grandfather knew it, that’s why he worked so diligently to support my grandmother, financially. He understood that men have their own. They come along to enhance a woman’s life, not burden her. So while you’re out there auditioning to be a wife, remember that your suitor is auditioning too. Far too often we get caught up in showing a man that we are worthy. I don’t cook for any man every night. I’ll cook for him on occasion so he knows I can cook. I don’t pay for every date. I’m the woman dammit. That’s not my job. But above everything else, I don’t financially support any man! No matter how fine he is or how lonely I may feel. If any of us are to ever find a man worth taking seriously, we must first know that he takes the business of being a man seriously. If I wanted a boy, I’d date someone’s 18 year old son. He’s agile, sexy and I don’t mind cooking all his meals. Anyone older than that needs to come to the table with something. I’m not asking for you to take care of me, I’m asking you to take care of you. Then maybe we can talk about us.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

We Are Not The Same...I Am A Martian


This morning I came across an article about a 6 year old boy whose parents are suing his school district.

Before I begin this post I need you to understand that this is half my blog and I can write what I want. Before you decide to attack me for my opinions I need you to understand that I am quite skilled in the art of malicious attacks and I will win.  I'm glad we got that out of the way.

What is this boy's parents suing the school district for? Because he's living his life as a girl and they won't let him use the little girls' bathroom.  I will not go into whether or not a 6 year old boy should be living his life as transgendered.  I don't even have the time nor energy for that conversation.  I would, however, like to discuss why I think it's wrong for this kid's parents to wage war on this school.  I'd like to mention that the school did offer the little boy the option to use the nurses' and teachers' facilities but his parents declined. They feel that he should be afforded the same opportunities as other little girls his age. That's perfectly fine...except he's not a little girl.

I am totally with the idea that some kids are just born gay. I've grown up with some kids who vogued out of the womb.  What I'm not okay with is the idea that because you suffer an adversity that it means everyone around you must adjust to accommodate your adversity.  This kid's parents have zero consideration for the fact that demanding "equality" for their kid could possibly mean a very unnecessary shake-up for a lot of 6 year olds. I know what you're saying...these kids will have to accept the fact that there are transgendered people living among us.  I totally agree...but not at 6.  It really really bothers me that parents use these very innocent children as martyrs for their own causes.  Do you think this kid wants to be the crusader for all kid trannys?  I doubt it.  He just wants to live and be a happy, accepted kid just like the rest of the stupid little children in the world.  Instead of thrusting your child into an environment where he will suffer why don't you put him where he's loved and accepted?  I know that he'll have to learn to adjust to the resistance at some point...but not at 6.  At 6, these parents should be instilling in this child the idea that he is loved, and beautiful...not different.  The other lessons will definitely come later.  Call me crazy, but I'd be in no hurry to throw my child into the lion's den.  If their kid was deaf would they just send him to public school and demand that the school creates a class for deaf children?  No. They'd send him to a school where there are teachers who specialize in the education of children with hearing issues.  I hate to compare being gay (which we aren't even positive that this kid is) to a disability, but it is what it is.  In the world we live in this is not considered "normal".  That's life. Life isn't fair, life isn't forgiving.

When we (blacks) couldn't go to their schools, join their organizations or shop in their stores, we created our own.  Guess what it did? It worked. It made us happy. It made us comfortable to be able to just sit at a desk and learn without having a book thrown at the back of our head.  Eventually things changed...we integrated.  But having that option made the transition a whole lot better.  Please stop using these kids as pawns to change the world.  Being a martyr should be a choice.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Shopping For A Glass House

It's funny how we see potential as a good thing but ignore it as a negative.  All potential isn't positive. It's weird how we'll stay with someone based on their potential to get a real job, stop being a child and somehow become a productive member of society. However, I don't see many women calling it quits over a man's potential to not be great.  How many women do you know that have cut a man off after noticing that he had the potential to possibly beat her a...? (I gave up cursing for Lent.)

I know a woman who is "dating" an unavailable man. She isn't my friend so I don't feel the need to try to help her, but maybe telling you her story can help you.  This man happens to be on the verge of a break-up.  The break-up gets ugly sometimes and both parties in the relationship are responsible for this.  However, this woman almost ALWAYS has something negative to say about this man's potential ex.  She blames this woman for everything that happens in this relationship.  She's very vocal with her idiotic idea that this man is seeing her, while still involved with another woman, because she is somehow better than his current situation. She sits back and takes great joy in this man being the source of her "competition's" hurt.  She laughs about it and not so quietly waits her turn.  I have even heard her say something about this woman needing to "learn her lesson".  I am so flabbergasted.  Don't ever get so caught up in pointing out other people's lessons that you miss your own.  It's right in front of your face!  Does this woman not see that everything she's supporting this man in doing is most likely going to be her future?  What makes us think that everything we watch a man do to someone else somehow falls out of his system once he decides to stop putting us on a back-burner?  It's funny because we all see your demise light-years before you see it.  The best advice I can give you is to just mind your business.  If you're going to be involved with an involved man you need to know your place.  Their relationship is not of your concern.  Save yourself some embarrassment and keep your opinion on the situation to yourself.  People don't forget about the statements you made once you're the one on the receiving end of the abuse.  No one forgets that you thought it was cute and amusing when it was happening to someone else.  There goes your sympathy.

Nothing is more rewarding than watching a self-righteous relationship meddler change her tune.  I've watched this woman's social networking posts go from all smiles and heart emojis to pure dismay.  I can't say that I feel sorry for her.  I am very observant of how people treat their ex's.  You may think it's unimportant to you at the time, but you will most likely be an ex as well.  That shoe is real tight once it's on your own foot.

Tell em Corinne...

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Act Like A Lady, Date Like A Man

Steve Harvey doesn't care about black people. Okay. Maybe he does, but if he cared about black women like he says he does then his book would've been called "Act Like A Lady, DATE Like A Man." Let's face it. Most of his book was probably a crock of BS, but he was right about at least one thing. Women need help learning how to date.

Now who you date is your own responsibility. I really can't help you in that department. What I can tell you is that my dating life is the most fulfilling right now than its ever been. How, you ask? I'm dating like a man. A friend of mine gave me some great advice a few months ago. I thought I was only half-ass listening to it, but turns out I subconsciously adopted some of her ramblings. I'm going to give you a very short list that will almost instantly fix most dating issues you're having right now. Ready? Here it goes:

- Date a LOT of men. You're single. The reason you get so caught up in being rejected when dating is most likely because you're dating one person. You're sitting around waiting for the attention of this one person and he knows it.  Newsflash...the more men you date the happier you'll be. Everyone is fighting for a spot which means more free dinners, more nights out and more gifts. Not to mention the less time you spend with a man the more he seems to want you. Why pretend to not have time for him when you can really be out not having time for him?

-Use somebody. I know this sounds mean, but men do it. They always have that one woman they know they have no intentions on being with but can use her for sex while they're whining and dining the women they really want to be with. Take a cue from them. The reason you'll be desirable to the men you really want is because you won't be sleeping with them. You won't need to because you'll have your fuck dummy. I know it's harsh, but all is fair in love and war.

-Don't let them dwindle. I know it's difficult but you must press on. What usually happens is we may start off with an arsenal of guys then they kind of start to fall off one by one. Usually this is because you start to take more of an interest in one guy. You start to spend more time with him and before you know it, you have a one man team. You can't let that happen. Why? Because you'll never give the other guys a chance. If you follow your feelings you'll just end up with the same type of guy you ended up with in the last three relationships. They were essentially the same guy right?

-Don't rush it! The most important advice I can give you. Women want to rush everything. Don't put time limits on everything. Just because you've been dating for 6 months doesn't mean you have to be exclusive. Let things go where they may. If you are dating enough men then timelines won't even matter to you anymore. You'll be too busy to worry about when you can call him your boyfriend and have to deal with silly shit that wouldn't even exist if you were smart enough to just enjoy being single.

Anyway, that's it. Have fun being a hoe!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Blue Eyed Soul

This summer I was graced with the opportunity to see Allen Stone live at the Virgin Mobile Free Fest.  Let me just say that blue eyed soul is back!  You know we don't hold out here at CocktailOur, so here it is...thank us later.

(P.S...if you have ADHD and don't think you can sit throughout the entire video, just scroll to the 4:00 mark)