Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
LMAO...Crack is definitely wack ladies and gentlemen. It starts with a little tote of the sticky...Next thing you know, you're lying face down at a K-Ci & JoJo concert.
Just say no my friends...just say no.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Please keep in mind that I am only speaking from my own experiences. Do not send in any of those angry black man emails, because we're not for it.
In a booming age of independent women who have their own homes, drive their own cars, two jobs, work hard...you know....bad broads; why are there so many men quick to switch it up when the tables are turned? Some men run into hardships and a lot of good women are there, having their backs no matter what the situation may be. Perhaps you lost your job, lost a leg or just lost your damn mind. Whatever the situation, we're always there. When we're the bread winners, everything accumulated becomes ours...us..we...without a second thought. We open-heartedly support our men without contempt or complaint. Nor do we place claim on everything that our hard-earned money has purchased. However, as soon as you negros get on the come-up, and are finally able to provide for yourself and your family, you want to throw in our face what you've done. So what you bought that peanut butter?!... you didn't have anything to say when I was the #1 bread winner up in this joint. We all know that peanut butter is no good without bread (unless you use crackers, but they're the reason why you can't get anywhere now right?)
Here is a thought for you silly negros. A man and a woman are made to help and support one another. This is not a competition, its a joint venture. If you want your ego fed, take it to Bob's Big Boy because I'm not the one. If you want a wife, who is supportive and understands that a relationship is functional when both parties are growing TOGETHER then you've come to the right place. However, if you want to be NEEDED and depended upon then call up Plies and ask him for the spot to find all the bust-it-babies (not to be confused with busted babies, which will be discussed in a later post). We're tired of your man codes, and boy games. So until you grow the hell up, get your crap together and learn how to be a man, don't holla holla holla at myself or any of my friends.
In the previously quoted words of a scholarly man..."if you ain't on sit down"
Thursday, August 21, 2008
**Disclaimer: Post actually written about my cousin Tyrone Banks, otherwise known as Tyra by his male company. Not a celebrity, yet equally as ovah!!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
With that said, we at CocktailOur have comprised a list of things that will ultimately go digital!
-No longer will your cousin doing time at BCDC have to waste his commissary on paper and pens. Who needs that when he’ll be sending you a vletter? And while the vail man is here to deliver your vagazines, he has a couple of vills for you too. Damn vill collectors! You’ll get your money!! No bounced v-checks here. All this watching has gotten you famished. Let’s find the carry-out venu and order some food. Then, after eating, we’ll sit down with Jimmy Jr. and practice his valphabet. It’ll be good clean family fun
GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP AND READ A BOOK!!
There once was a time when men came a dime a dozen. Each worth a moment of your time and eager to please far beyond the bedroom. There once was a time when the word “relationship” didn’t serve as a relationship deterrent and neither did its cousin “commitment”. There once was a time when I didn’t have to begin each sentence like the introduction of a fairy tale. Love and happiness wasn’t just a song, it was a lifestyle. But no more. . . If I had a penny for every beautiful woman I’ve seen (or know) flashing the banner of singularity, I’d have enough money for those Brazilian booty implants men seem to love so much or at least some 20″ Chinese store Brazilian hair. But I digress. . .
Please don’t get this misconstrued. This post is not intended to serve as a complaint box or as one of my world famous rants about the lack of quality in the depleting resource we call men. (No angry black woman post here ladies and gents). Rather a thought provoking discussion.
Are relationships a thing of the past?
Are friends with benefits as good as it gets?
What happened to the perceived value of women?
Have we become just a big butt and a smile? (Thanks BBD)
And . . . .
Is Single The New Black???
Here at cocktailour we believe in the evolution of our community and decided to hire Hispanic correspondent Rosie Poorez to aid us in our bilingual quest.
“My name is”
Mi papa del bebe siempre tarde con el dinero
“My baby’s daddy always late with the money”
I know you can relate. For more free (yet slightly unconventional) lessons, be sure to visit Rosie for her next lesson.
An avid CocktailOur reader wants to know why men on the bus stop have the audacity to try to pick up women who are driving. She would like to be able to stop at the corner without the fine young gentleman waiting for the 51 all up in her grill. It got me thinking, so I decided to comprise a top 5 list of reasons why bus stop boy is tryna holla holla holla…
5. …his baby momma’s Solara or Accord is in the shop and you’re looking like a winner
4. …his car was in an accident and is now “being fixed” (like we believe that)
3. ...he needs a ride. Hell, it’s hot out here!
2. …the same reason why the hoodrat with the rooster hair and twelve inch acrylic nails wants an “educated man with class”.
1. …he actually thinks that you’re NOT a shallow whore who judges men based on what they drive. The nerve of him!
Get yourselves together ladies!! Don’t judge a man by his car. A man should be judged solely on how he treats you…and his shoe game!
Jazmine Sullivan performed for the people at Seventeen Magazine, and I damn near cried. We (meaning me) absolutely love this girl! Check her out...she's soulful and all that jazz (no pun intended).
Album coming September 19th...
download buy it!!
So I pose these questions to you.
Is height deficiency a regional issue?
Do you have a problem with dating short men?
If you have dated a short man, did he have the complex?
So many questions, so little time.