We build a bond and try our hardest to keep him happy, thinking both parties involved are on the same page. Then something happens. They tear our heart into little pieces, and scatter those little shreds along the ground we thought was the foundation of our relationship, and simply walk away.
So of course we cry a little bit, and and maybe mope around for a while. We take our time to search for that strong independent woman we used to be before we pushed her aside to focus on this man. Dig in our back pocket for that bright confidence and womanly strut we own. Remember them? We stuck them in there for safe keeping when we paused to waste some time with Mister. And now we are ready to resume our journey to that Man who is deserving of us.
And just as we are one step into moving on . . . here comes Mister! Why? Why now? That’s always the question we ask ourselves when he arrives again, with the lame “I’m sorry, I was wrong” speech, and the oh-so-sincere look in his eyes (I’m sure he practiced it in the mirror). We sit and listen to his story about how he thought he needed to be free to get with homegirl (and her homegirl). He tells us that at the time he didn’t realize how much he was hurting us and now he knows that we’re worth “so much more”. ( we’ve all been there before).
And for just one minute we want to believe he’s changed. That he learned some kind of lesson while he was out there in the world, doing the tango with that chick we used to call “friend”, oh and that chick he knows we can’t stand, the one he told us was just his friend.
Then we remember that conversation we had that night when told us it’s “just not working out”. We were confused because we thought what he said just that morning was that he loved us.
And now here he comes 6 months later, just when we’re starting to really open up to the new man who’s been making us smile. The one we can’t quite let inside yet, because those old scars haven’t healed completely.
He’s trying to get back to the front of the line that is our life. Trying to take back those words he said when he was trying to explain why we just weren’t “doing it” for him anymore. . . He’s trying to make us give him back our hearts. . . Give him back the trust we put in him when he wasn’t trustworthy. . . Give him back his girl. . .
but we’re no longer that girl.
Now we’ve grown into a woman who knows her true worth.
Remember that childhood phrase though,
I’m sorry but, “No backsies”
You can’t have me back.