Friday, April 3, 2009

Change 'Gon Come

In relationships does waiting around for the other person to change really make sense or are you both merely wasting time?

Sure there will be differences. Expectantly there will be sacrifices, but can you compromise traits which comprise your inner lining? Can an unaffectionate person become affectionate? Inexpressive-expressive, stern-limber, expectant-inexpectant, inquisitive-satiable? Can these core traits become malleable? Do any of us care enough to stretch?

6 comments:

Sartorially Savvy said...

I think it's unrealistic to think that anyone is going to change who they are for you, or for "love." It's ridiculous, even if they do appear to change, it's probably only ephemeral and they'll revert back to their true selves shortly thereafter. I know I'm certainly not willing to let things that I love about myself go for something I don't care that much about... But that's just me. And part of the reason why I don't date. But these are just my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Trying to change someone never works, but if the person wants to change and seeks help then you can step in.

Marie Francois said...

Don't wait for it. . . when it finally ends you'll look back and wonder why you spent all of that time trying to turn water into wine.

Believer said...

In my opinion, change happens everyday and very few of us know what serves as the agent for such change. Through our daily interactions we encounter people with prefences as unique as they are. Some people prefer not to be around smokers, so those of us who do decide not to smoke in their presence. The same is true with cursing, opening doors, being polite and the beat goes on. I'm sure all of us have that one person that we are a little more accomodating toward, because doing so really doesn't seem like a chore or sacrifice. I don't believe anyone person is the same around everyone. Essentially you are not trying to change another person, rather attempting to remain open to changing yourself and becoming a well rounded, objective, mature human being.

NaturallyPretty said...

I am the typical devil's advocate
There's always a yes and no answer in my book (at least most of the time)

1. My last bf (our relationship ended in November 2008, and I've remained single since then). I changed him, he tells me I made him a better person, turned him into a man (yea..ok)
funny thing is, he changed when I no longer cared what the phuck he did. He was a major BUM, super lazy, but had the nerve to call himself ambitious, resting on his lame B.A in nonsense, mooching off his parents always making excuses for not having a decent job(unlike my self) or a job at all kinda BUM!!!


2. On the other hand my first love (began freshman year in college) wouldn't change for nothing. And after 3 years I couldn't take it anymore and left the relationship
My problem with him was he never made me feel "special" and I felt like he didn't make enough time for "us", he was always sooo busy and would try to buy me things to make up for not being there.

Some ppl will change some ppl won't. Men have tried changing me too, but it doesn't work, however now I am willing to change a few things. It really depends on what someone is changing and what's going on with that person, mentally.


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undressingHER said...

I agree with Marie. No point in waiting for it. You know if you and the person you mess with are truly compatible or not. That's why once you get past the physical stuff, you need to really examine what type of person they are in relation to what you need in mate if you're looking for a real relationship.