Friday, May 29, 2009

Boyfriend # 2

Although I was never a fan of Pretty Ricky (or any of their member offspring) even before these saggy red panty antics I can't seem to escape Pleasure P's song Boyfriend #2!! Now contrary to what he wants to lead you to believe, being someone's sloppy second boyfriend/girlfriend is NOT [ I repeat ::: NOT ::: ] a good thing!! And most likely they're not going to even tell you that you're not number one.

Sooo now that I've got you wondering if you're holding a secondary status in someone's life here are some tips if you're just not quite sure...

If you only see her on the late night when she wants some strokes . . . then she gets right up and leaves, or makes you get out as soon as you bounce back. (this applies to both men and women) ·

If the only thing she says every time you call her is "I'll call you back later" in a hushed voice. She only calls you "baby" in text messages. Most likely she's hiding from her real man!

He won't take you to his routine eating spots. He'll leave you in YOUR OWN house to run and get some food and bring it back to you but he wont leave you alone in HIS house. He's probably not trying to run into certain people who know Girlfriend #1.

If he ushers you into his room as soon as you get to the apartment because he doesn't want his roommate's girl to see you: you're not the main woman he's been bringing to the house.

You counted the condoms and they're just not adding up because you know you only used 2 when you opened that last pack...

He's "just not in the mood" when you're basically throwing the goods at him! For real when is a guy not in the mood?

There's two toothbrushes, Mizani Shampoo and two towels in his bathroom... none of which are yours. "Nah girl, those belong to my sister, she was here last week" . . . and she set up shop?? yeah right.

If more than one of these applies to you then you are most likely boyfriend/girlfriend #2... or your significant other is just ashamed of you! Either way, not really a good look! LMAO yikes!What do you think of this whole Boyfriend/Girlfriend #2 business?

Feel free to add your own clues in the comments section!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

And It's All Because of You...

The Speed Dating Event was a success. We would like to thank everyone who came out.
If you're the collage for more photos!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Sexniques...The Best I Eva Had

We hear it all the time. In books, television and especially in magazines. Men have a one track mind. All they think about is sex! This can't be totally think about sports and money too! Right? So that's a total of three topics, with one occupying 90% of their thought bank. So with this common knowledge floating around, I am consistently amazed at how many women have little to no sexual ability. I find it pretty strange that the beautiful creatures who often complain about getting and/or keeping a man, have such a small amount of know-how in the area that seems most important to men. SEX! I surveyed several men and asked them if they could stay with a woman who was terribly efficient in every category(looks, style, intellect, cooking, etc.) but just wasn't good when it came to sex. The results were staggering. Sadly, It confirmed what I suspected...If your sex game isn't proper, your relationship future looks bleak. These results aren't quite the same for women. A great deal of us, as optimistic as we are, are willing to work with a man who isn't mind-blowing in bed. However, we like to experience fireworks too!

We at CocktailOur are all about empowering relationships. We want you to be happy, prosper, make love...not war, and all that jazz. So we've developed a segment for you under-practiced women and men called Sexniques. Here we will cover techniques, tricks and aides to assist you in being the best that you can be. We only make two requests.
1. Give it a try! Don't say ewwwwww...just perform the act at least once. If you don't like it, then don't do it again. Deal?
2. If you get physically hurt in anyway due to any of our recommendations, we are not to be held responsible. Deal?
Now that that's over, lets get down to it. Our first order of business...

You are not a log!
No one wants a woman who is going to lay there like a dead fish...okay, maybe that's a bad analogy, but you get it! There is more to it than opening your legs. The magic doesn't just have to make it happen. So to get you on your way we have our first Sexnique Aide...The Ben Wah Balls! Don't make that face! We're all adults here.
The Ben Wah Balls aka Ben Wa, Love Balls, Pleasure Balls....and a name I just made up...the Ben Wallaces...are your first step to a great sex life. These little inexpensive rounds serve many purposes. These balls, unlike the other less useful ones, cause intense sexual arousal, stimulate your vaginal walls increasing your natural lubrication and they strengthen your pubococcygeus (or PC) muscles. Yes, your PC muscles. Never underestimate the power of the PC...its what keeps this family together! The muscles are there for a reason. Not only do they control your bladder, but they can potentially control the future of your relationship. Learn how to use them, and you'll be going places kid!
Anyhow... here's a link... Its a step-by-step guide on the uses and benefits of using the balls. Try them out... utilize your new found strength down below, then come back and tell us about that new house he bought you afterwards. can get that good!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

We Used to Have Sex

This is an anonymous submission to CocktailOur. The writer is sharing her story, wondering if you've ever felt this way, or been that dude?
Has this ever happened to you? LoL story of your life?

We Used to Have Sex. . .

He comes up behind me in the club, and I smell him before I see him.
His scent is oh so familiar.
Thought I smelled him last week, felt my heart skip a beat like “oh shit!” but when I turned around it wasn’t him. “whew! dodged that one” I thought.
This time there was no mistaking him as he eased up behind me and slightly grazed his hand against my behind as he bends down to say hello in my ear. It’s loud in here.
“Hey” I say and try to smile.
Damn, did he have to do that? Why does the sight of him always remind me of last summer? Last summer. . . yeah, good times.
And now it’s almost summer again, but we haven’t done those summertime things in a while. Not since the last time it was hot outside.

When he’s near, my mind always floods with memories of looking up at the mirrors as we lay, thinking “so that’s what this looks like...” His reflection was hot to say the least. Laying there contemplating “How do I get him. . . to do more than just this?”
We used to have sex and that’s all it was. Understood by both of us. I don’t think I ever wanted more from him other than in just those times when I lay there in his bed after we were both spent.

And so here we are in the same spot, standing side by side.
Accidentally brushing against each other as he talks to his homeboys and I dance with my girls... We don’t really talk, but every now and then our eyes make contact and I know that he remembers too.

Then it’s me, him and his homeboy outside. We’re talking about nothing, just shooting the breeze and getting some air.
Enjoying his presence, kinda of wondering what he’s doing when he gets out of here.
Contemplating recycling our summertime fling.
But only for a second, because then he ruins it. I’m brought back to reality and reminded why it never went any further than it did. And our only escapades were soley in the bedroom.
I think he was trying to pay a compliment to me, but his words only show how little he actually knows about me beyond those sweaty sheets and king sized mirrors...
He says to his friend “yeah she got that exotic pussy”.

And it all comes crashing down... the fantasy, respect and anything else I may have romanticized about him beyond just a good lay.

I can’t get with that. It’s not me.
And this is why we USED TO have sex. . . that’s the only me he knew. The one that I created for him. The exotic chick I used to play for him ;)

Monday, May 11, 2009

Culturefy Your Nightlife...

On our Happy Hour tour we recently made a stop into Harbor East's own Lebanese Taverna. Known (if only by me) for its beautiful bathrooms, this establishment is the home of E4GP 's newest endeavor..."5 After 5". Presumably named for it's $5 happy hour drink and food menu, the event is the group's attempt at diversifying the party scene. As an added bonus, for those of us on CP time, this is the only 5 hour happy hour in the area. So if you told your friends you'll be there at 7 but don't make it until worries. You're good until 10! If you like great drinks, discounted appetizers and beautiful bathrooms, join Azikiwe and the crew for "5 After 5" on Thursdays. Get on this elevator while its at the 1st floor, because it may be full by the time it reaches the top. Who likes taking the stairs? And as a wise man once doesn't matter if you're black, white, brown, puerto rican or hatian...

Lebanese Taverna
719 South Presidents Street

Baltimore, Maryland 21201

Friday, May 8, 2009

Let's Break Up!

As if we don’t have enough things to make us psychotic when it comes to dating!
I polled a number of women and men asking them:

What is the dumbest/silliest reason you’ve had for breaking up with someone or not wanting to date them anyone. I was surprised by some of these HILARIOUS responses I got. Some of them didn’t make the list so this is just a few. Here we go! No names, LoL

Women Stopped Dating Men Because:
1. His boobies were bigger than mine
2. He was gay (happens more often than you know, lol)
3. Couldn’t dress
4. He paid more attention to my chest than me (so annoying!)
5. His teeth weren’t white enough
6. Sloppy kisser
7. He wasn’t tough enough... too soft
8. He wore wedges in his soles to make him taller
9. A consecutive week of bad breath (yikes!)
10. Chapped lips
11. Ugly Feet (this is a popular one)
12. Dirty Nails
13. Went really long without a shape-up
14. Messy Eater (who wants to date someone they can’t bring to a restaurant??)
15. We had the same birthday
16. We had the same last name (LoL)
17. Messy drunk
18. Took more time getting ready to go out than I did
19. Took me to a shooting range on our first date (WoW! Better act like you’re having fun!)

Men Stopped Dating Women Because:
1. Her toes were ugly. . .
2. "Her breath stunk bad"
3. She was a king pin drug runner (I think he was actually serious too)
4. Liked her best friend (shame!)
5. The way she ate (guess no one like a person who chews w/ an open mouth!)
6. I saw her mom and knew what she was gonna look like when she got older (OMG)
7. Her voice was too high
8. Hairstyle
9. Wrong shoes (Get ya shoe game up ladies!)
10. She was talking about her yeast infections on our first date (NASTY!!!)
11. They wouldn’t beat their kids when they had some
12. She doesn’t perform acts with her mouth (I had to edit this one!)
13. She would always hug on me just because we were in public (marking her territory! lmbo)
14. She wasn’t popular. (LoL he said he was like 12 though)
15. We went on a date and she had on Air Force Ones

Let us know what your favorite break up excuses are!!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

I Heard You Have The Fever For The Flava

It's 4am and I'm watching "27 Dresses". How have I never noticed James Marsden? He's so delectable, seems to have a good sense of humor, beautiful, sexy, gorgeous...did I say sexy? Anyway, after wiping the drool from the right corner of my mouth, I started to think. If, by some small miracle, I could fool this man into leaving his wife and being with me...I could never bring him home. He's white! I know...I's 2009, our president is mulatto, interracial marriage is on the rise and "regular" black women are going out of style like light-skinned men. I get it. I totally get it. However, I'm not sure how true this is for black women involved with white men. Yes, it definitely happens. I'm not arguing that it doesn't, but how often? More importantly, how acceptable is it in highly urban communities (in laymen terms...the ghetto)? I suppose this post is more of a question then a statement, so...

Do you think the black community is as accepting of black woman/white man relationships as they are of black man/white woman relationships? If no, then why not? Do you think its fair? Do these pants make my but look big?...Okay. Enough with the questions.

Here is some vanilla man-candy for you...Enjoy.

Brad Pitt

Brody Jenner

Hugh Jackman

Adrian Grenier