Friday, May 22, 2009

Sexniques...The Best I Eva Had

We hear it all the time. In books, television and especially in magazines. Men have a one track mind. All they think about is sex! This can't be totally true...men think about sports and money too! Right? So that's a total of three topics, with one occupying 90% of their thought bank. So with this common knowledge floating around, I am consistently amazed at how many women have little to no sexual ability. I find it pretty strange that the beautiful creatures who often complain about getting and/or keeping a man, have such a small amount of know-how in the area that seems most important to men. SEX! I surveyed several men and asked them if they could stay with a woman who was terribly efficient in every category(looks, style, intellect, cooking, etc.) but just wasn't good when it came to sex. The results were staggering. Sadly, It confirmed what I suspected...If your sex game isn't proper, your relationship future looks bleak. These results aren't quite the same for women. A great deal of us, as optimistic as we are, are willing to work with a man who isn't mind-blowing in bed. However, we like to experience fireworks too!

We at CocktailOur are all about empowering relationships. We want you to be happy, prosper, make love...not war, and all that jazz. So we've developed a segment for you under-practiced women and men called Sexniques. Here we will cover techniques, tricks and aides to assist you in being the best that you can be. We only make two requests.
1. Give it a try! Don't say ewwwwww...just perform the act at least once. If you don't like it, then don't do it again. Deal?
2. If you get physically hurt in anyway due to any of our recommendations, we are not to be held responsible. Deal?
Now that that's over, lets get down to it. Our first order of business...

You are not a log!
No one wants a woman who is going to lay there like a dead fish...okay, maybe that's a bad analogy, but you get it! There is more to it than opening your legs. The magic doesn't just happen...you have to make it happen. So to get you on your way we have our first Sexnique Aide...The Ben Wah Balls! Don't make that face! We're all adults here.
The Ben Wah Balls aka Ben Wa, Love Balls, Pleasure Balls....and a name I just made up...the Ben Wallaces...are your first step to a great sex life. These little inexpensive rounds serve many purposes. These balls, unlike the other less useful ones, cause intense sexual arousal, stimulate your vaginal walls increasing your natural lubrication and they strengthen your pubococcygeus (or PC) muscles. Yes, your PC muscles. Never underestimate the power of the PC...its what keeps this family together! The muscles are there for a reason. Not only do they control your bladder, but they can potentially control the future of your relationship. Learn how to use them, and you'll be going places kid!
Anyhow... here's a link... Its a step-by-step guide on the uses and benefits of using the balls. Try them out... utilize your new found strength down below, then come back and tell us about that new house he bought you afterwards. Yes...it can get that good!

5 comments:

Sartorially Savvy said...

Sexual chemistry and attraction is another aspect of a relationship/interaction that is more important to some than it is others, but all agree it's a tenet of a successful relationship. It's akin to having common interests, and values about certain things. That being said, when your mate is interested in something you're not too keen on, sometimes, *if* you care enough, you educate yourself... The same can be done for sex... This post just put a whole bunch of people on game Lol

jazmine <3 said...

see this is what im talking about... you really gotta be in love to be in a relationship/marriage and i mean "in" love because it is just too much damn work googling "sexniques" and trying to keep your physical body( i mean your "vaj") in shape just to please your man... when i have to start doing vagina excersises thats when im giving up (me and hard work is a no-no) all hope is going to be lost for me when im married :(

Anonymous said...

I can attest to the Ben Wa Balls. I can honestly say that trying new things regularly can keep things interesting but communication and friendship heighten everything in the bedroom.

Go to your local adult store together and pick out something new everyonce in a while. And if you don't like the idea of a public purchase contact your local toy distributor.

For example, get a pole! You don't have to be a pro but the visual of you dancing on/with it will make and Sat, Mon, Wed, Sun... night exciting. And everytime he walks past the pole he will think about the things you two did that other night.

TheBlackMamba said...

Sorry, but love and everything aside, but if sex is an active part of your relationship why wouldn't you want to improve your game? I love having my man reach for me every time he steps across my threshold.

Now, when we throw love into the equation, which is very much a part of our relationship, it intensifies EVERYTHING. So yes, I do my Kegals EVERYDAY, especially during....and brag about it in the morning, lol.

The Tenant said...

Ah women that get it. One thing I've found in common with the married and divorce women I've met is that their head game IS TERRIBLE!!! It's no wonder their husbands didn't/don't want them...I don't even want them anymore after they preform the 'cheese grater'