Wednesday, June 3, 2009

3 Great Reasons Men Don’t Holla At You...

-Written By A MAN ...

Honestly, I’m tired of hearing chicks say, “Men ain’t ish.” While this may be true some of the time, have you ever stopped to think that maybe it’s something that you’re doing that is making men not want to stop and talk to you? You could just be unapproachable and that is why you can’t find a decent man. Maybe it’s something beyond your control, but then again maybe it’s not. Try to check the following:

Your Expressions
Body language can tell a lot about a person like whether they’re mad or happy, or if they’re too busy to be bothered. You cannot go out somewhere and expect to meet men if you’re going to sit in the same spot all night with your arms folded across your chest. Men feed off your energy so if you want to meet someone you will have to be aware of your body language at all times. You don’t want the same ugly no good men walking up to you asking, “Why you looking so mean?” You know they’re bold and don’t care. Keep a pleasant look on your face and uncross your arms. This is an invite to let men into your space.

Your Appearance
So you’re really walking out the house with curlers in your hair and your toes hanging over your flip flops? This is a no-no if you’re trying to catch a positive eye. Mr. Right could be out there but he’s going to look right over you and put you in the “hell no” category. If you have on sandals, make sure they are the right size and your toes are done. And if you have to keep your hair tied up, try to at least do it stylishly with a silky scarf…think Alicia Keys “Unbreakable” video. A good man wants his lady to look nice when she steps out.

Who you’re with
“You’re only as good as the company you keep.” So why are you choosing the loudest friends you have to go party with? You know the ones that dance on top of the bar and grab guys to get their attention and to buy them drinks. Sure, you all have a good time when you’re out. But save them for ladies nights when you aren’t thinking about men. If he see’s you with them, more than likely, he will think you act just like them and will ignore any eye contact you give him.

24 comments:

Kishez said...

It's about time.... I often look at females and wonder if they have any self awareness at all. Presentation is everything. A lot of women don't take pride in their appearance or they are too prideful which winds up making them 'look stink'. "Birds of the same feather flock together" old saying are true. If Laquisha is just another hoodrat from the block and happens to be your BEST FRIEND....what does that make you?

Very well written. I look forward to more from "A Man"

Martha A. Wade said...

This is some good advice for woman on one hand ~ but really superficial on the other hand! You are RIGHT ON about a woman's expressions and how lookin' all mean can turn men off. I am a woman who doesn't like to always GET ALL DONE UP just to go outside! I like the fact that I can go out in sweat pants and t-shirt, still be ME, and still look GOOD! I don't want a guy who is so hung up on appearance, but I see your point for singles ~ you have to put your BEST foot, body, face forward ladies!

dabestatit21 said...

very true , i would think as women we want to look our best at all times. but at the same time. some women are just fed up with dissapointment so they put up a defense wall without realizing their doing so. but great points. good luck with your endevours!

JuiceOn said...

Well damn. I like the views of what a man truly thinks when he sees a woman and how he wants to see a woman. This was written with alot of taste. Much appreciated. Females do need to be more aware of what they look like just as much as they are quick to judge a man by first appearance. Loved the piece and hope more is to come<3

Tyrell said...

THAT ARTICLE IS SO TRUE!!

Cocktail J said...

I actually wear my thoughts on my face. Most of the time I can't help the expressions that I am giving off. They're involuntary. I would suggest that men stop being so afraid of rejection, or a little hard work :-), and take a try. Just because one looks unapproachable doesn't mean that they are. Don't judge a book by it's cover.

LayDee said...

This is good advice for the ladies, your image is an important factor to have. You have to look your best at all times. If you look stuck up, what man is going to step to you? Think about it.. This is a good article, keep it up (=

CocktailTee said...

I agree with the article for the most part. . . no one wants to approach someone who looks like they want to just be left alone!

But I'm NOT dressing up every single time I leave the house!

Miss Chi said...

If women don't already know these things by now, they will never know and will continue to question why things are the way they are in their intimate relationships.

Anonymous said...

^ I disagree. If they don't know, it could be because they were never told. Once someone tells you, you become aware and it's easier for you to fix it.

Krystal said...

While I completely agree with this, many woman do know this already but simply don't care. People are always going to complain no matter what because it's second nature.

Now, what about men that are not up for the challenge? If a woman is very welcoming and friendly, her appearance is up to par and is very confident in herself, what would you say to men that are too intimidated by her?

ThinkerGoneMad said...

Word!

WRITTEN BY A MAN said...

I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE WHO TOOK THE TIME OUT TO COMMENT ON THE BLOG. MORE TO COME STAY TUNED. PRETTY GOOD I MIGHT ADD EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ...

- WRITTEN BY A MAN
6/3/09

Nola said...

Well done.I think women often judge a guy on the same things when he's out in public but I think we forget that it goes both ways. Well written:-)

Analog.Lady said...

The advice is on point! That pic is so comical. LMAO @ "If you have on sandals, make sure they are the right size and your toes are done." Does a MAN really have to remind you?! smh...

Anonymous said...

I'm a faithful reader and eventhough I appreciate the article, I'm a bit shocked. Cocktailour has provided great advice since the blogs inception. It's funny how 15 comments appear when "a man" gives his two cents. Great blog ladies!!

Anonymous said...

Well said...looking forward to more for A Man..

Jon said...

i digg

The Tenant said...

as another man...back in my young and inexperienced days I woulda whole heartedly agreed with this post. But after my continuous study on women and their behaviors I'm 50/50 with it now.
First, it does help to be pleasant and look approachable but at the same time I understand why you don't. It's bad enough you have 40 losers a day tryin to holla at you when you're frowning, imagine how many losers would try to holla if you were always smiling? Some guys read into friendliness a bit more than they should and that backfires on the woman.
2nd, I don't think you should be in glamour mode when you going to your mailbox. If you just going to the store to pick up some eggs for breakfast, ditch the curlers...sweats, no makeup, and headwrap is fine (i prefer baseball cap and ponytail).
3rd..yeah, you gotta watch the company you keep. But it's harder for girls to ditch girls that have rolled with them for xx amount of years. Girls are backstabbers so even if she is a bit loud and rat-ish, you know Latifa Shawanda Jenkins Jones has your back no matter what and that's why you roll with her. (but it does help to have a diverse circle of friends...if all of them a hoody then you need to enroll into a university asap)

Joe Scumbag said...

I agree with this blog right here to the fullest.

Sometimes females just can't help themselves from doing certain things or acting a certain way. To be honest a lot of females think their looks will get them any & every guy walking the planet or even bring them any thing they desire; whether its material things or emotional comfort.

3 simple reasons why a guy won't HoLLa .. !!

You ladies should look into this and ask ya-selves ...
"is that me ?", "am I committing these No-No's ?"

Looking foward to more ...
a lot of guys reading this right now so maybe next time you could tell us ...
The 3 steps on approcahing a beautiful women
Or something that's been on my mind for a while aswell as other guys out there ...
3 reasons why females keep guys around who treat em' like sh*t, and why they kick the good guys to the curb ?

C'mon Let's Talk About It .. !!!

RedMonkey97 said...

Jimmy... I agree with all three… but the 1st one more than the other two… some people have this permanent, “Leave me the F**K alone”, look on their face all the time… Smiles are free and cause let wrinkles & stress lines… even if you’re uninterested you don’t have to be mad or give off that vibe… if a guy is disrespectful that’s another story, but simply approaching you should NOT be stressful event… later Red Monkey

Smartzworld said...

Fix ya face ma!

vintagechula said...

I must say I found the "The Tenant" response to be very true and so on point I was even laughing a bit too hard on what he had to say; your hilarious but so right!!! especially naming the so called "best friend" lol too good. okay now back to the blog; I do understand where your comming from but then again we are in NY where there's thousands of men everywhere approaching young females like myself and it does get tiring and at times very ANNOYING! Especially if you already come from a neighborhood where there aren't that many females you already know those men on that corner will harass you daily so it just comes to a point where you put your earphones on and just ignore pretty much anything they have to say and no its not being cockey it's called "I'm keepin it movin because you said that to the other ten that passed by"! Keep those blogs coming I loved it!!! Your GOOD!

styles said...

Jim I loved your blog and that Picture is hilarious ... yes there's many woman out there that do have that face and it's pretty scary .. I myself love females and when you see faces like those its pretty scary lol .... keep blogging!!! too good