Monday, June 1, 2009

C-Rings & Garter Belts

Posts like this make me glad you guys don't know which of us are doing the writing.

Recently I told a male friend that I was thinking about becoming involved in a sexual relationship with a man that I've been seeing. Since I've been off the market for an extended period of time, I'm not totally sure of what is acceptable sexual behavior for the first encounter. His advice to me appeared to be simple at first glance...

-No head on the first date...Ok, I'm cool with that.

...then everything seemed to go down hill from there. I am a sexual being by nature. Being in a relationship for so long made some not so normal things a normal part of my sexual routine. I am willing to accept that those things must change as I am no longer in that familiar, comfortable, seemingly committed relationship anymore. I totally get it. What I don't get is:

-Why I should expect to encounter "issues" regarding my piercings.

-Why, although I wear garter belts & stockings regularly, I should possibly consider not wearing them the day of our first sexual encounter because of what he might think of me.

This is nonsense! So you want me to remove my piercings and wear holy Hanes Her Way panties (aka grimeys), just so you can feel comfortable? What is it about black men that makes them so trivial about the smallest things? I get it. There's a 10:1 ratio of black women to men. Regardless of how busted and broke down you are, you CAN afford be picky since you have so many options. I'm with that...but why so petty? So what my "pleasure box" is pierced? what my nipples are pierced? what I wear garters (they keep my stockings up!) Why does it scare you so much? Why does it change your perception of me in any way? More importantly, how can you claim to want a lady in the streets and a freak in the bed, then get freaked out when you get a real freak! Make up your minds! Really!

Rant over...

Men, are how would you react to surprise piercings? Should a woman warn you before you discover it or would you enjoy the surprise? Is it enough to freak you out? How about garter belts and uber-sexy panties? Is there a such thing as being too sexy the first time?


TheBlackMamba said...

LOL I TOTALLY know who wrote this!! Because those certain traits about yourself are sexy, your new partner may be taken aback by them, but they're what make you YOU! Understated sexy....well not really understated, but would that young man ever expect to find those things about you? Once he discovers them he'll get a never-ending raging hard-on!! LMFAO all I can really say is that many men are intimidated by a woman who is confident enough to proudly walk around all pierced and gartered up. And those same men will then begin to question "Who else has seen these piercings and garters?" That's the man you want to avoid, because he clearly is lacking the same amount of confidence as you. You're nobody's whore, and if he believes otherwise I don't think you would've been attracted to him in the first place.

I personally don't believe there is a such thing as being "too sexy" the first time around. As long as you're willing to provide him some variety and continue to sexy it up later on down the line, put all the sexy on the line from the jump.

But I do agree with the notion of avoiding head the first time around. LOL

The Tenant said...

If you enjoy giving head then do it. I don't know who came up with the silly notion that oral sex is off limits. And wear whatever you like...if you got edible underwear then rock that too! If anythin the guy will think that you went extra and dressed up for him. And the piercings? What's there to even discuss? If the guy your with thinks your "too sexual" for him, then IT'S NEVER GONNA WORK OUT! You might as well hit him over the head the first time and see if he heads for the hills or not. I don't care if you wanna be his wifey, if you hold out now and try to "ease" him in, he'll never get on your level and both of ya'll will end up frustrated. When it comes to sex, most guys know what they like and what they don't like...and stick with it.

hahaha, my word verification is 'comer'

Cocktail J said...

So how would you feel about a woman if you thought she went all out for you the first time? Would it make her look too eager to please?

P.S...That's verification word was "nipples"...

Just kidding.

Sean said...

Thats terrible advice whoever gave it too u it really depends if you plan on being with person in an extended realtionship. 1st time you better show me something granny paties and no pierceings if your have them isnt the thing im trying to see. I not saying to use every trick in you bag but you gotta give me enough sexy to want to know what how high a sexual level this can go too..

The Tenant said...

I don't think you should whip out the gag ball and paddle the first night...but if that's the only way you get off then you need to start vetting these dudes better to make sure they on the same page. A "girl too eager to please" isn't that an oxymoron? I would love it. It really depends on how YOU feel. Maybe I'm just cut from a freakier cloth, because giving head isn't considered going all out. If we had sex that could easily sell for the best porn film in 2009, that would be considered going all out.

My word this time was "squain" which sounds like it hurts.

CocktailTee said...

I always enjoy The Tenant's comments!
You're funny.
Keep commenting!