Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Everything They Told You Was True

I am ashamed to say that I don't take much of anything seriously. Even the most common of warnings go in my right and out of my left. Today, however, I got a cute little wake up call in the form of a Twitter follower.

Aaaah Twitter, the wonderful platform for you to voice your opinions, build a following and quite possibly brand yourself. A couple of months ago, due to strange stalking activities, I made a decision to "protect my tweets" by making my Twitter profile private. The consequence? A decrease in my follower requests. Now, what fun is Twitter if you don't have a gang of ninjas walking with your clique though? So, to increase my followership (yes, I made that word up), I unprotected my tweets. Bad move!

Listen to me carefully. If you are currently in the process of finding employment, changing careers or even in the middle of a legal battle protect every social network you have! Unfortunately, I have been known to say a few inappropriate things here and there. Imagine my surprise to discover that my interviewer had began to follow my tweets. Protected & Blocked! But was it too late? I suppose I'll find out tomorrow during my interview.

Although I understand the purpose, I find it quite unfair that employers dig so deeply into the personal lives of employees. Your freedom of expression and interaction is hardly a fair trade-off for a decent paying career. Hardly fair. What's next? Will I be fired for wearing thongs? Are high-cut briefs the only acceptable undergarment for the workplace? Protect your panties people! The man is ah lurking.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Music: Food For The Soul

The things that good music does to my soul are unspeakable. The right song at the right time can change the world. Of the many things that he's given me, I find myself thanking GOD for music the most.

Stop Being Selfish!

The holidays are a very rough time for a lot of people. We urge you to get off of your butt and do something for someone else over the next few months. From donating a few canned goods to handing out meals to the homeless; every little bit helps. Got pets or kids? Make it a family project! Take them to the children's hospital and visit the sick. You'd be amazed at the difference a puppy or another kid could make to a child who is suffering. If you're not as creative as some of us, there are great websites that can assist you (Volunteer!).

Remember! "What goes around, comes around" doesn't only apply to those who do wrong. When you do good, good comes back to you.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Who Got My Back? I Got Yo Back...

...(Thats a football chant in case you didn't pick up on it)

In the past I have had my fair share of situations regarding the opposite sex and the idiotic things that they do. Typically, since I am a woman, these situations usually involve one man and two women. In some instances the women knew nothing of one another. In other instances one woman knew of the other. And in equally typical instances both women knew of one another. Regardless of the combination there seems to be two constant factors in these types of situations

-A man who has lied to both women at sometime in these relationships
-and two women who almost always end up attacking (verbally or physically) one another.

I have tried and tried, but I can not understand how this is still happening. After all of the things we encounter on a daily basis not only as women, but especially as black women, why don't we hold one another down? Or should I say up. Second to black male/female relationships, it seems that non-sexual female/female relationships are in the saddest state imaginable. I wonder if it has something to do with the reaction you get when you try to help another woman.

Against the better judgement of my friends, I happen to be a woman helper. Regardless of how many times I've been backstabbed and toe-jammed helping another woman; I'm always there again with my arm extended to help another one with her knife in hand. Captain Save-A-Dummy. After every situation I claim that I'll never help another, and yet again I fail. The thing that pains me the most is that MEN, the ones who are usually causing the tension, look out for one another. They have man codes and laws, no matter how stupid, and they abide by them. What is our problem? If they can do it why can't we? Why do we have to name call, bad-mouth and tear down a woman after she's told us how untrustworthy our man is? Why cant we be appreciative and thankful, instead of spiteful and angry at the woman who is just as much a victim as we claim ourselves to be? Why don't we consider that the situation is just as difficult for her as it is for us? It's bad enough that he will continue to lie, blame-shift and deny responsibility for his actions. Why must we also vilify and defame her character so that we can feel a little better about the decision we've made to stay and play the fool once again?

I thought I'd never say this, but...Why can't we be more like men?

...now for your listening pleasure...

Monday, November 16, 2009

Biggie...Give Me One More Chance

I was listening to the radio this morning and this question was posed: "How many chances should one get in a relationship?" There was a range of answers from "everyone deserves a second chance (a woman)" to "it depends on what the women in the immediate vicinity look like (obviously a man)". I started to think about it but I just couldn't. I already knew my answer. You get no second chances! It's my opinion that if you'll do it once you'll do it again. In addition, why are men always the ones asking for a 2nd chance? If you so much as even think about another man, they write you off as damaged goods.

My philosophy? One strike and you're out. It's much easer to get out of a relationship after the first mistake. Once they realize that they can get away with it once, nothing stops them from doing it again and getting back in the same way they did previously. Before you know it you're on chance #7 and seven months pregnant. Don't do it ladies. Just say no to 2nd chances! Get out while you can.

Uhm. . . Okay, but I was expecting MORE

Sooo have you ever had sex with someone and remember it being the best thing ever?! You build this huge anticipation for the next giddy-up but when you do it. . . ehh not so much.

I hate those total let downs! A recent encounter made me never want to do it with this person again. I couldn't even get excited enough to continue after a while. It was like the Sahara Desert down there! My mind started wandering and I was going back in my memory bank trying to remember "was I drunk the last time?? Was he?? Okay, now what can I do to speed this up a bit"Maybe next time give him a shot of ginseng and an energy drink!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft...Oh My!

This may not do anything positive for my campaign to be nice, but I have to get it off my chest. Feel free to judge me, I don't care...

I can't stand depressed people. They kind of disgust me. Everything about them makes me sick. If you're depressed, why not be alone? Why do you have to come all up in my space and affect my mood? Stay your ass home, don't work and especially don't call me. Despite all of the things going on in my life, I am a fairly happy person. Don't get me wrong, I have been depressed before. When I was, I stayed home and tried not to interact with other people. I didn't answer my phone and made every attempt at fixing my issues without burdening others. Yes, I have my down days sometime, but overall I'm good. I think its very selfish of depressed people to come out in such a state. If you're down, stay your down ass away from the general public. Depression is, in my opinion, just like H1N1. It's a danger to everyone who comes in contact with it. You know whats the worst thing about depressed people? They actually WANT to be depressed. They listen to depressing music, and drink wine that makes them feel even worse about whatever was bothering them to begin with. Do me a favor. If I know you, and you're depressed, remember that it's your issue. I'll attempt to help you in any way as long as you're willing to pull it together and fix your attitude. Why drag everyone else into this? I don't want to feel guilty about being happy and laughing at Family Guy. I don't want to have to tiptoe around my crass jokes as to not offend you. If I wanted to do those things, I'd go to church. These are the issues I'm plagued with when you're moping around me and crying. Cheer up and think about how selfish you're being.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Your Pants Are On Fire

I've been called mean, evil and a flat out bitch. Regardless of how much I attempt to be the opposite of those things, I have a hard time escaping those labels. Despite of all the mean and incorrect things that people say about my disposition, I find myself in the same category as everyone else...overly accepting. We as people tend to be the most naive and forgiving imaginable. I understand that we don't want to be judgmental. We don't want to make others pay for the sins of the previous. However, we see all the signs that someone is untrustworthy, irresponsible and just a plain old poser; yet we ignore them until it effects us in some way. I wonder how many busted lips, hurt feelings and burned down homes could've been avoided if we would just listen to the warning signs. When you meet people there is a learning phase. I can almost guarantee that you can know most of what you need to know about a person within a month's worth of interaction. Here are some clues for you.

If everything that happens to them is someone else's fault, then they're blame shifters...run for CherryHill.

If they have only negative things to say about their past partners, then they're only going to say negative things about you when you're done too.

If their stories constantly switch and they want to swear you down that you're mistaken about what they've said, then most likely they are a liar.

I guess the key is recognizing the patterns and stopping the fling before it starts. Its easier to get out of it after a few months then after a few years. The only thing I can't figure out is how you can distinguish between someone who really has had bad luck in relationships or else wise, from someone who causes the bad luck. Or someone who doesn't clearly express them self from someone who is a flat out liar.

I guess thats why they call it learning. Got any tricks to share?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Consider This A Warning...

After the fiasco over at French Kissez I think it's only fair that I give you all a warning. I have no regards whatsoever about your feelings, your reputation or your ego when it comes to my relationship with you. I am not CocktailKay or CocktailTee. I am the infamous CocktailJay. Most of those things they say about me is true. So listen up...

-If you do something wrong to me...I may blog about you.

-If you do something right...I just may blog about you.

-If you do something that effects me in any negative way...I will probably blog about you.

-If you lie and tell me that you are not in a relationship, and I find out that you are; not only will I blog about you, but I will put your real name in it, repost it on Facebook and ask all of my friends to retweet it. Ask Jamar.

-If you're my friend and you do or say some ignorant nonsense that deserves blasting... www.CocktailOur.com here you come.

Please let this serve as a warning. If you don't want to be put on blast... don't do stupid shit to me. It's easy as pie. Because when I'm not regarded, neither will you be.

mmmmkay?...I'm glad we're on the same page.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Teach Your Kids It's Not A Dirty Word

The other day my friend mentioned to me that she was going on a date with a guy that she met. This should have been special because it was to be their first date and should have set the precedence for future dates. Should have...

Disclaimer: As many of you know, we have the strangest and most eclectic group of friends imaginable. With that said, please don't judge us based on this entry. Granted, I have my issues, but this isn't one of them. Lol...

I digress. So my friend decides that she wants to go to the movies for her first date with this man. Naturally, he gives her the opportunity to choose which movie she would like to see. Because she's such a sissy, this eliminated anything remotely scary; which left two movies. Of the two movies, the one that she wanted to see happened to be playing at the $2.50 movie theater. Great, saves money right? WRONG. This lady proceeds to call this man and tell him that he's going to have to take her to dinner before the movie to supplement the cheap ticket price. Huh? Look, I'm all for gold digging, but are we really at the point where there is no need to hide it anymore? Let me know so that I can stop pretending to pay for the first dates. Please. I could be using that money for more important things.

So here are my questions. Ladies, is there a minimum amount that you think a man should spend on a date? Specifically the first date. Men, what would you do if this trick...I mean lady, did this to you? Would you be offended?