Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Who Got My Back? I Got Yo Back...

...(Thats a football chant in case you didn't pick up on it)

In the past I have had my fair share of situations regarding the opposite sex and the idiotic things that they do. Typically, since I am a woman, these situations usually involve one man and two women. In some instances the women knew nothing of one another. In other instances one woman knew of the other. And in equally typical instances both women knew of one another. Regardless of the combination there seems to be two constant factors in these types of situations

-A man who has lied to both women at sometime in these relationships
-and two women who almost always end up attacking (verbally or physically) one another.

I have tried and tried, but I can not understand how this is still happening. After all of the things we encounter on a daily basis not only as women, but especially as black women, why don't we hold one another down? Or should I say up. Second to black male/female relationships, it seems that non-sexual female/female relationships are in the saddest state imaginable. I wonder if it has something to do with the reaction you get when you try to help another woman.

Against the better judgement of my friends, I happen to be a woman helper. Regardless of how many times I've been backstabbed and toe-jammed helping another woman; I'm always there again with my arm extended to help another one with her knife in hand. Captain Save-A-Dummy. After every situation I claim that I'll never help another, and yet again I fail. The thing that pains me the most is that MEN, the ones who are usually causing the tension, look out for one another. They have man codes and laws, no matter how stupid, and they abide by them. What is our problem? If they can do it why can't we? Why do we have to name call, bad-mouth and tear down a woman after she's told us how untrustworthy our man is? Why cant we be appreciative and thankful, instead of spiteful and angry at the woman who is just as much a victim as we claim ourselves to be? Why don't we consider that the situation is just as difficult for her as it is for us? It's bad enough that he will continue to lie, blame-shift and deny responsibility for his actions. Why must we also vilify and defame her character so that we can feel a little better about the decision we've made to stay and play the fool once again?

I thought I'd never say this, but...Why can't we be more like men?

...now for your listening pleasure...

1 comment:

Frenchie-Cocktail T said...

Good point. Women are so attached to their men, they'd rather blame the other woman who they don't know (or do know). For some reason women seem to value their romantic relationships much more than their bond to another woman.