Someone posed the question today of whether I would allow my husband to have female friends. As much as I hate looking like the crazy possessive wife, I had to answer no. You all can save your opinions of insecurity, immaturity and any other "uritys" that you can muster up. Its all about prevention people.
While I know what I would like for my husband to do, I'm aware that can not tell him whom he can and can not befriend. I would, however, like to offer my reasoning of why married and/or committed people should not have active friendships with the opposite sex.
My main reason of why the committed shouldn't have "friends" is because men and women can't be platonic. I know we like to fool ourselves into believing that it can happen, but it can't. At some point, someone becomes attracted to the other. It may be reciprocated or not, but attraction builds over time and its dangerous...this is all about prevention.
Eventually the question expanded to whether or not he should be able to keep female friends that he has had from the past. Thanks to the ex I'm gonna have to answer this with a no too. I'm inclined to believe that these "friendships" started out as something more. The two parties are hardly ever truthful about "extra" things that have occurred throughout the duration of these friendships. Most importantly..."old friends" have a sense of entitlement thats out of this world. They think that they have privileges and rights that outweigh those of your new partner's. There are hardly any boundaries in these friendships, which leads to a certain level of disrespect to our relationship. We all know that wont be tolerated.
Often, men are extremely naive or just plain stupid. They act as if they can never see the signs that a woman is interested in them as more than a friend. Sometimes I think that women hold on to their male BFF's (so gay) as a back-up; just in case they wake up 35 and unmarried. No ma'am...not with my man you won't. So if you absolutely MUST have a female friend there will be rules.
-We're all hanging out in a group at all times. Whenever you're with her, you're with me.
-If you're talking on the phone...it better be on 3-way with me.
-You definitely ain't hanging out with her and any of her skanky ass friends. I know all about that hook-up game.
-Don't talk to her about our personal business.
-If I catch her eating off of your plate, you're both dead.
-Don't invite her over for holidays...thats doing too much.
-...several other rules that may be added later.
It's not about me not trusting you...its about you being a man, her being a woman and me being on probation.
In the oh-ten say no to female best friends...