Friday, February 5, 2010

The Power of Peni (According to some dummy...that's Plural for Penis)

Have you ever done some dumb crap that you know you had no business doing but couldn't figure out why? CocktailOur has discovered that most of the dumb things done, by women, can be attributed to one thing, and one thing only...THE PEEN! If you've done anything on this list, don't be ashamed. It's not your fault. Apparently you can't escape the Power of Peni.

New Peen will make you...

...Settle. As long as you can have the peen, who needs a relationship?
...Drunk text. Well actually liquor makes you drunk text...but you're still texting peen!
...Date a deadbeat dad
...Cook...and you know I don't cook
...Feel like a woman. Have you dressing up for no reason like a dummy.
...Clean your house (just in case the peen pays a surprise visit)
...Stock up your refrigerator with real food...fruits, vegetables & meats (you know...just to make you look good)
...Prove that you can handle the peen. It got you going to Strip Aerobics classes & stuff.
...Make you wear matching panties...make you wax more...hell, peen will keep you on your toes!
...Make you watch Sports Center...running down stats and ish.
...Buy beer

*Note, the following only applies to GOOD peen

...Put your friends, plans and work on the back burner.
...Do some shit you know you can't do (chandelier swinging...balling into a pretzel...licking your own butt)
...Send naked photos of yourself to his cell phone
...Bump random chicks in the club and stalk them on Facebook because you saw them say hi on his wall.
...Pretend you like his mother when you know you hate that hoe...good peen makes you bite your tongue. (Figuratively & Literally)

What are we missing ladies? What has good peen made you do?


Sartorially Savvy said...

Time of death: 9:20 pm.

To counter, I refer to the Jay-Z and Devin the Dude classic, "The Power of the Pussy"

The Tenant said...

The "Peni" only has power when it's hit the bottom. Don't let a man hit the bottom and you'll retain pussy power.

I'm back...but not blogging lol.