Tuesday, June 1, 2010

It JUST Happened!

Over the weekend I was presented with the question of whether or not flirting is cheating. I'll reserve my opinion on this for the time being. However, I posted the question on twitter to which I got the overall response of "No. Flirting is not cheating." I was content with this answer because we all have our reasons right? I never once thought about questioning or arguing someone's opinion until one of my male followers responded that "Shyt just be happening..."

Does it now?

That response set off something in me that I didn't really know was there. I've been really nonchalant about relationships up until now. Before I go on this rant I need you guys to keep in mind that I'm not a feminist so ladies please don't be mad at me for what I'm about to say...

It is my belief that men were created superior to us in almost every way. They are stronger, faster, and more strong-willed. Studies show that men spend less money than women. In my personal interactions I even think that men work harder for things that they really want. When they want to lose weight, they're more successful at cutting their bad habits and they're constantly hitting the gym harder. When they want to make a purchase they save money with ease...not even diverting for the loveliest pair of shoes. I could never do such a thing! With all the willpower that men possess, I don't understand how it's so easy for us all to surrender to the idea that "men can't help cheating". It's BS. Men can be successful at doing anything that they want because they're equipped with the innate ability to do so. I find it very hard to believe that the creatures who are so able-bodied in every other aspect of life, can involuntarily submit to such a stupid thing. More importantly, with us being the inferior sex, why don't more women cheat seeing as though our will appears to be lower?

Maybe we should stop letting men lean on the crutch that "all men cheat" and that there is nothing they can do to fight it. Contrary to my silly Twitter follower, "Shyt [doesn't] just be happening". You make shyt happen.

If you hadn't JUST sent her a DM telling her how pretty and smart she was, then...
You wouldn't have JUST become facebook friends with her, then...
You wouldn't have JUST begin communicating regularly, then...
You wouldn't' have JUST agreed to hang out a few times, then...
You wouldn't have JUST kissed that time, then...
You wouldn't have JUST had sex a few times, then...
You wouldn't have JUST been cheating on your girlfriend for 6 months.

But I guess I could see how he could think that "shyt just be happening". I guess you just HAD to tell her how pretty and smart she was right? Who could resist doing that? Here is a thought. Maybe you shouldn't be sending messages to women telling them how pretty and smart they are when you're in a relationship. Better yet...if you're not prepared to be in a committed relationship, don't enter into one. It's that easy! Why try to keep a leash on someone when you don't intend to stay on your own? Maybe its time for men to JUST grow the hell up and stop being so childish.

3 comments:

msjjohnson1 said...

Damn girl you said it...so true

Sake said...

I think people need to realize that the beginning stages of cheating are all mental. Its a seduction. As you presented, it is a series of events, one more intense than the previous.

Flirting is not cheating, so much as its a precursor to other possibilities, that are more than likely going to have a negative affect on your relationship.

Now, there are certain stages of flirting, some more permissable than others, depending on the trust and openness of your relationship. Because lets face it...we make our own rules in relationships according to what we do and dont want.

I have an ex that I LOVE to see flirt. Hes so charming & social, we enjoy seeing one another engage with other people & then we flirt as if we dont know each other... I guess its like all day foreplay. Hes a naturally charming man. Some people think that hes flirting when hes just being himself. Opening doors for women, complimenting them when they walk with their heads held high or if their walking with their heads hanging low. Thats a "flirt" I appreciate because he helps women appreciate themselves. Otherwise, we normally take the rule of "dont do/say what you couldnt do/say in front of me, or anything that you wouldnt want me doing.

I know youre reading this like "ok, if ya'll have all these rules and they work...why is he an ex?..."...lol Wouldnt you like to know.

Traci Lavette said...

I so agree with what you said here! Told it TRUTHFULLY! And I concur. Shyt don't just be happening, it's all set in motion with bait. It's the thrill of the not-so-much-of-the-chase for them most of the time, I firmly believe. It's such a crutch to fall on and I am ashamed to say that I know more than a few women that use that old "a man will be a man". Bullshit! Love what you said about trying to keep a woman on a leash when he can't/has no intentions on, staying on his. Sounds a little like a power trip...