Thursday, July 29, 2010

Where is the In Between?

In the past few days I've been running into the same conversation over and over. It seems as though all of my friends are at the a point where they're figuring out the direction they want their lives to take. Not surprising is the fact that every one of them have ridiculously high ambitions. Some very unrealistic. I know that we shouldn't put boundaries on ourselves...the sky is the limit...anything is possible blah, blah blah. However, I'm starting to feel like an outcast because I just don't see the hype.

Maybe there is something special about being a 20'something year old with little to medium responsibilities. Maybe this stage of your life gives you the idea that anything is possible and you should conquer the little that is deemed impossible. Is it strange, in the reign of Generation Y, that I seem to be the only person not focused on getting rich, being my own boss or making a name for myself? It's not like I lack motivation. I'm very motivated to have a job that will allow me to pay my bills and not live paycheck to paycheck. However, I don't have to live in a mansion or drive a Bentley. Hell, I don't even mind getting up and going to work everyday. Is there something wrong with me? It's not like my goal in life is to be on welfare. I just don't mind being in between. Is that a crime?

When did it become okay to work like a slave to obtain material things that you'll never have time to enjoy because you're too busy working like a slave? Why aren't we interested in having a family and regular, old-fashioned fun anymore? When did a woman, whose ambition is to be a housewife, become a lazy gold digger? Where did our obsession with extravagance, fame and money come from? And how did we get to the point where someone who just wants to be happy and live a minimal, average, non-flashy life is the one with the problem?

I's confused :-(


AtruHollywood said...

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being content with your job and your life as it is. In times like this, simply having a steady job and not having to live paycheck to paycheck is ambitious in itself. Recently, I have found myself jumping on the bandwagon of “wanting something more” but in no way do I feel as though its simply because I want extravagance and fame. To me, the fact that I don’t have any responsibilities other than myself makes now the best time to sacrifice. I believe that me working longer hours, taking extra classes, getting numerous certifications and most likely being dead ass tired at the end of the day all has a purpose. I do this now so that in 5 years (maybe) when I start having children I will have reached numerous goals, allowing me to live comfortable, have the things I want and be where I want personally, professionally and financially all w/o having to sing the coulda shoulda woulda’s. Great Post.

Sake said...

I think because all of the aforementioned are glorified by "the right people". Mom & Dad want you to be a Doctor, The President encourages you to be a lawyer, your professors encourage you to be your own boss, if not intentionally, you know it by watching them tackle all of their side hustles.

Although some of us are meant to be doctors, lawyers, teachers, scholars....many of us arent & many of us feel defeated & lost if what we want to do with our lives doesnt fit into a convenient little box we can check on an application.

In our generation, in addition to our little community (young, black & educated), we feel we're supposed to aim high & strive for "the best" because if we dont, who will? The high school dropout? People our age treat education & career choice like standing in one of those machines where money flies around for a minute. If you dont grab everything, youve lost! Regardless of whether youve grabbed enough.

"Our generation" doesnt have its own idea of success but it does have a general, societal standard friendly idea of success & it involves material things. The "free-thinkers" are shunned, The girl that discovers she does amazing hair or make-up is discouraged to "use her degree & get a "real job"", the poet is encouraged to be a rapper, the girl that watched her mother raise a family full of productive members of society & a happy husband is pushed away from doing so because its the 21st century & "we" can do "better than that.

Dont get me started on how "we" receive our degrees & expect a phone call while we're at dinner offering us the job we've only painted a picture of in our heads. No call=Failure & thats it! <sarcasm

P.S. God forbid you live "comfortably" by your own standards because apparently we've gone to college to please & truly emancipate our slave ancestors, mom that got pregnant after high school & "couldnt" finish school, we go to college to spite the father that was never around. Therefore when you finish, even if youve reached the pinnacle of YOUR success, you cant be happy unless you have things to show for it. And like my crazy ass grandmother always says "I aint never seen a Uhaul attached to the back of a hurst" <misspelled because its my crazy ass grandma saying

I encourage us all to live YOUR best life!

and im out!

loveable_homebody said...

Aw wanting to live "in between" is no crime! I think it's admirable even. I often feel like we live in a society that equates material things to success. Having a lot of expensive stuff and doing expensive things is basically a way to prove that you've been what many in society deem to be successful.

You seem to know what you want and I think that's great. Go for it! Who cares what other people think.