Thursday, November 3, 2011
If You Ain't On Sit Down
The other day my life partner and I...okay. I'm lying. I don't have a life partner. I'm not even gay, but I couldn't figure out a way to start this post. What better way than to make myself seem like a bitter black lesbian? That's what men will call me after they finish reading this anyway so why not?
Anyhow, I was talking to a friend the other day and the topic of inequality came up. Who knew all those years that Dr. King was fighting for justice for the wrong group of people? He should've been seeking justice for black women! Yeah I said it! Black women!
It seems to me, and apparently many other women, that we are held to a very unfair standard. Black men are always telling us how we should have our own house...bad...and our own car...bad...two jobs, work hard & be bad broads...bad. (Yes, I did just use a Lil Webbie quote for the 2nd time...sue me.) However, the same man giving us advice on how to be desirable is usually sharing a one-bedroom apartment and renting a car bi-weekly. Despite the inequality, we'll still date this man. Why? Because he's nice and we're always willing to give a nice man with a good personality a chance. I don't see a serious problem with this except for the fact that if the tables were turned, he wouldn't have the same mercy on us as we would him.
Here's an example.
Man & woman exchange pleasantries over the phone...names...ages...tastes in music. Now the conversation starts to dig a littler deeper. Let's watch.
Woman: So do you have any children?
Man: Yes, I have 3.
Woman: Awwww...how old are they?
Man: one, one & a half, and 3 months.
Now let's watch this same conversation with the roles reversed.
Man: So do you have any children?
Woman: Yes, I have 3.
Woman: Hello? Hello?
At this point in the blog we're all laughing, but it really isn't funny. Black women are plastered all over the media for being snobs. They say we're unmarried because of our religion, we expect too much from men, we're over-educated and over-qualified to be wives. I say the real reason is because our men don't have to perform to the same standard that is expected of us. They're loved and accepted with 3 children, no job and erectile dysfunction. Yet, they still think they're too good to marry us! How many women do you know that have it going on - great education, great career, attractive - but has a deadbeat boyfriend? MANY! Now how many men do you know in the same situation? ::crickets::
Alls I'm saying is let's be fair here. Give us our credit. We love you unconditionally for the most part. Please stop tearing us down all over every social network and media outlet known to man. The next time you fix your lips to talk about how much your woman nags...which will be covered in the next blog...remember that 6th toe on your left foot that she clips for you without complaint. Remember that we accept a lot from you, and that a few stretch marks or a crooked tooth here and there should be forgiven considering your own flaws. Let's face it, you're no Hill Harper, but we give you the benefit of the doubt anyway. Repay the favor.